Using the Mirror

Using the Mirror

I was told a long time ago that the best way to get someone to come round to your way of thinking is simply this, creating a sub-conscious connection between you and the other person. This is done by observing the other person's body language and the way they are talking to you, such as tone and even words.

“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other”

Now, when speaking to people over the telephone you can almost get into your own routine, ways of doing things and pace of what you are saying. This is something I was guilty of for very a long time I would speak at a fast tempo. Whereas the other person maybe much more calm and relaxed than me, So they might miss what I am saying. They may not share my enthusiasm or maybe just think I am speaking so fast, that I am trying to sell them something they don't want to buy!

What I started to do differently was practice this technique, however someone greeted me over the phone I would use a similar tone and personality they have shown with me, truth of the matter is, people feel comfortable speaking to people who are like themselves, this does not mean we need to try and put on our very best South African accent on or try to sound Scottish to relate. We need to do this the best we can without sounding false and/or patronizing. After adopting this 'mirroring' technique I began to get engaged with more people, open up more prospects and well, they began to talk more openly and needless to say it has increased sales. 

This simple 'Mirroring' trick is something you can use to get people to be more open during a face to face meeting, take for example; "when I started doing door to door sales over 10 years ago I was faced with objections, people not really wanting to talk with me and sometimes to be honest, slam the door in my face! What I did was, I wondered how can I get more time with them to get my message across and get them to talk and ask me a question, I tried this little technique that when they opened the door with a closed image, such as arms crossed etc. I then held my hands together and started speaking to them whilst I did this, I opened my hands to a relaxed posture and lot more people followed suit" After this, I had a much better success rate through mirroring and then leading them into a much more comfortable state. 


Next time you notice that someone is closed with you and you want to get them more engaged, use this little technique as it will give you the best possible chance of opening them up and getting them to become a lot more interesting in what you are staying or presenting.